When I got married almost 12 years ago, I weighed 58kgs. Today the scale shows my weight at a good 20kgs more.
I have absolutely no problem telling you what I weigh. Do I feel happy with my weight? No. Should I lose a couple? Probably.
Weight is only a number
Maybe my weight seems like a joke to you. It might be your “Omg, I’m so fat!” number. It might just be your dream weight. Whatever you feel when you hear I currently weigh 72kgs… weight is just a number.
It’s not a bad number. It’s not a good number. It doesn’t weigh me down. Ok, maybe it does. It literally does. But figuratively it doesn’t, okay?
I don’t mind someone asking me how old I am. I don’t get offended when you ask me how much I earn, or how much my car costs. Or how many times a week I have sex. Society has taught us its “inappropriate” to talk about these types of things.
But that’s because we’ve made others believe that being old(er) is bad. Not earning at least enough for a down payment on a Polo Volkswagen is too little. And sex? We’re made to believe everyone has more sex than us.
Let’s Weigh In
My number on the scale is significant to me today. Because in the last week, two people have commented on my weight. Have I lost weight?
No. Nada. In fact, I’ve gained a solid couple kgs since the Christmas season. (My 3rd little has asked me several time in the last few months if there is another baby in my tummy…) 🙄
But I’ve been taking care of me. Of my emotional and mental health. You’ve read my struggles with the overwhelm and stress, and how I was struggling to cope… My heart has found a release. And I found new joy. Even though I have been gaining weight!
No Such Thing as Perfect
Every body is different. The types of food we eat, is different. The way our body reacts to said food, is different. Also, the amount of exercise we get (or in my case, we don’t get!) is different. And our number on that scale, will be different.
But friend, please hear me now; we were created different. We weren’t created to be the same. Or perfect, for that matter! My number on the scale means nothing. It’s just the amount of gravitation that keeps me grounded.
Yes, I’m sure you’ve read hundreds of articles on “It’s not what on the outside, but the inside, that counts” crap. I hate them too.
This is not that.
I want to let you know that where you’re at today, is OK. I might be super skinny to you, I might be your fat. But this is not about you. This one is about me. And my 72kgs of OK-ness.
I don’t care about my number. I don’t care who brings in more cash. And I certainly don’t care how many times we do it less or more than you in a week. It doesn’t change a single thing about my life.
What I do care about, is how my jeans fit me. Do I have enough to feed and clothe my family? And do I make my husband happy. I care about what feeds my soul.
Change Your Eyes
Change the way you look at yourself and your situation this week. Small things. Find 3 outfits/colours that look great on you (you know the ones you always get compliments in!), and wear them whether they fit the occasion or not. Take the cash you do have for the week, and pay attention to how effective you can be with what you have. Pat yourself on the back. And lastly, love your spouse unconditionally and without holding anything back this week, like when you first got together.
Weight does not define me. My bank account does not define me. My love for myself, for my family, and for others shows my true weight. And I promise you, just like me, you are worth your weight in GOLD!